If you know my story, you know that one of the main antidepressant side effects I experienced was rapid, unexplained weight gain.

60 pounds over the course of a year and a half.

Between the weight gain, emotional numbness, brain fog, loss of libido, and loss of creativity, I felt like a powerless shell of my former self.

I shared these concerns with multiple doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists, only to be met with quick statements like these:

“Well, it’s a tradeoff. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.” Real helpful. Thanks!

“Zoloft is a weight-neutral medication. There must be something else contributing to your weight gain.” So, the implication is that I’m sitting around stuffing my face with DiGiorno and donuts? 

“Sometimes people experience low libido because they have problems in their relationship. Have you thought about couples counseling?” No, I haven’t, because that’s not the issue.

Every single time, I felt like they were saying it was all in my head. I’ve never felt more frustrated, hopeless, or invalidated about my health.

My Antidepressant Side Effects Spreadsheet

I got so sick of not feeling heard that I decided to make a spreadsheet to show the correlation between my antidepressant dosages and weight gain.

If they’re not listening to me, I’m going to speak their language, I thought.

Here’s what I created:

I printed it out on a giant, tabloid-sized piece of paper, rolled it up like a poster, and proudly carried it into my doctor’s office.

You only deal with hard data? I thought. I’ll show you hard data.

It didn’t go over very well. After he laughed at me, my doctor said, “Well, the literature doesn’t show any correspondence between SSRIs and weight gain. If you’d like, I can refer you to our dietitian.”

I was stunned and speechless. This, coming from an MD at the University of Michigan, a prestigious research institution.

I knew that antidepressants were correlated with weight gain, and that there was scientific literature to back it up (even though my primary medication, Zoloft, was supposedly “weight neutral”).

But I couldn’t say anything. I sat there with a frog in my throat, trying not to cry, and the words wouldn’t come.

Have you been dismissed, too?

Nearly every day, I hear variations of my experience. It breaks my heart.

When clients first come to me, I often hear things like this:

“Yeah, I’ve really been struggling with digestive problems, but my doctor says that’s a completely separate issue.”

“My cravings have increased massively since I started the drug, but it’s not a listed side effect. I swear I’m not making this up, but sometimes I feel like I am.”

The side effects are painful. But what’s often more painful is not feeling heard.

When your intuition and experiences are constantly invalidated, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing your mind. And if you have a psychiatric diagnosis, you’re already living with that stigma, so it just makes it worse.

I’m here to tell you that it’s not all in your head. If your antidepressant side effects and symptoms are constantly being dismissed, there are three things you need to consider:

1) It’s OK to break up with your doctor.

So, here’s something that’s hard to admit: I used to stay loyal to healthcare professionals because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. And I know a lot of people deal with the same challenge.

Many of us are hardwired people-pleasers. We’re taught to give, be pleasant, and avoid confrontation at all costs. So instead of going through an awkward “breakup” conversation with a practitioner, we stick it out for months (or years) on end. Even if our health isn’t improving. Even if we feel icky or unheard in the relationship.

There’s a difference between giving things time and letting something drag on for too long. “Breaking up” with a practitioner too early can be a form of self-sabotage, because most results don’t come overnight. But if you’re continually dissatisfied, and your intuition is telling you that it’s not the right fit, find a new practitioner.

2. Look for alternative care.

It’s worth saying: the conventional medical system provides conventional care. And while there are exceptions, you can typically expect ultra-short visits (the average is 7-13 minutes these days), endless referrals (or difficulty getting referrals), and “a pill for every ill.”

Again, I’m generalizing. But based on experience, I think my generalizations are fair.

For especially complex cases, my top recommendation is a physician trained by the Institute for Functional Medicine. Functional medicine physicians specialize in root-cause resolution, and their in-depth training enables them to pinpoint issues that are often overlooked in conventional care. However, many health issues can be addressed beautifully through lifestyle change and targeted supplementation. Nutritional Therapy — which is what I do! — can provide incredible results.

I’m also a big fan of practices like energy work. Find what resonates with you, and remember that alternative care and conventional care can complement each other — you don’t have to choose one or the other.

3. Know that you’re not alone (and find proof!).

I generally encourage clients to take their focus away from their symptoms. Often, when we dwell on our symptoms, they become worse.

But I do believe there’s a time and place for focusing on your symptoms and consulting “Dr. Google,” and that’s when you’ve been completely invalidated and dismissed.

Forums like CrazyMeds and Surviving Antidepressants helped me tremendously when I was going through hell with antidepressant side effects. I saw that people were experiencing the exact same things I was, and I knew I wasn’t alone. Eventually, this gave me the courage to stand up for myself.

That’s ultimately why I became a practitioner. I felt so much isolation, shame, uncertainty, and confusion during my treatment for depression and anxiety. If I can keep only a handful of people from feeling the same way, I’ll have done my job.

Share your experiences in the comments. You can help someone feel less alone, too.

Psssst … wondering if food sensitivities could be contributing to your anxiety and depression? Download my Diet + Depression Quiz below.